DISCLAIMER : This article is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.How difficult is it to say “no”? Why are we not able to say the simple two lettered word? I have been in zillions of situations where I forced myself to say YES instead of NO.
What are the possible reasons? I could think of the following : - I did not want to sound rude
- I feared it would sever the relation I have with the person
- I did not want to displease everyone
- I did not want to create a bad impression
- I did not want to cut a sorry figure
Think of the consequences. Be it at home, work place or with friends. You end up doing something you hate/dislike at the expense of yourself. The person who asked you to do *something* would be oblivious of your initial/continual disinterest.
Lets take up the example of workplace. Your Colleague asks for help. You being the good soul agree to cover in for him/her. You do not mind to sit late hours and complete the work as long as you do not want to displease your colleague. Such requests add up and eventually you end up being the "person" who can come to anyone's rescue.
What is the end result? You end up losing your quality time and are working late hours at office. I am not asking you not to help anyone. Helping a person is different. But helping somebody at your expense continually is not encouraged.
One needs to master the art of saying NO. Soon you would be so pissed at yourself, as you are the one who could not decline or say a NO and ended up losing your time.
Better late than never. Stand up for yourself.
I have started saying NO. And seriously, I feel a hell lot better !!! :))Learn to say NO. I am sure the ones who care for you would not mind and the ones who just want their work done, would hunt for an another scape goat to fill your space! ;)
That's all for now... B.R.B !!!
Yes people... my wonder mode is ON. And by wonder mode, I dont mean I can do something wonderful, I just mean I am going to torture you poeple writing about I wonder... :P So no luck there.
This happened a few weeks back, during one of my visits to Guruvayur temple. The Holy abode of Lord Sree Guruvayurappan.
As usual, there was a long queue of people who waited for the darshan. But this time, it was different. The queue was so long, it stretched halfway out. My family and me stood in the queue, as the queue slowly started progressing. The queue was of parallel rows. So, I had no choice but to look straight, admiring the board where the Dont's were specified. 'Do not carry your cell phone/Video camera/Camera/etc etc. Do not enter the temple wearing a lungi/banian/shirt/etc'. Well... there were many versions of the board. But in different languages such as English, Malayalam, Tamil. Being so jobless, I read the same content in all the 3 languages. Yes, I know to read Malayalam & Tamil, in spite of not having learnt it :P [Bragging point # 1]
Well, coming back to topic, after reading all the boards and stuff, I could hear music coming from the mandapam. Finally, when the queue progressed a bit forward, I could see that it was an 'arengetram' function. Please dont ask me what is arengetram. Google it. Its too complex to explain. :P Well.. Yes, coming back to topic, I saw 3 girls dancing to 'Alai payuthe kanna' song. No.. no references to the mani ratnam flick or maddy. This is a classical tamil song. The 3 girls were dancing beautifully. The steps were being executed so gracefully. The steps seemed too familiar. It was then I remembered my dance teacher had taught this song to us. Not the exact same steps, but very similar. I knew the exact steps which our teacher had taught us.
Everything which I thought I had forgotten, was there in the back of my mind. Just that I had not thought about it for years. To people, who do not know, I have been trained in Bharatanatyam [Bragging point # 2 ;)] Its true that I have not danced (Bharatanatyam) after I left school.
It was then I started thinking of all those hobbies/interests I do not do anymore. I used to play the Guitar once. I still remember the day I could save enough pocket money to buy the Guitar. There were days when all day I used to irritate my poor family trying new new tunes on the Guitar. But now, the Guitar lies somewhere in my room. I have not even bothered to check if the strings are proper.
I used to paint a lot once upon a time. Won a hell lot of prizes for that. But, no signs of paint or brush in my room now.
What is it that has changed? Is it us? Don't we have time to pursue what we really enjoy doing? Aren't these all a part of who we are? Did not these help in defining who we have become? I feel I have lost the creative part of myself somewhere down the lane.
Am happy I still sketch. The only one interest that has clung on to me, no matter what.
That's all for now. Let me go, search for my Guitar and dust it and trouble my folks again :D :D buahahaha :P
B.R.B !!! :)
Yes... I admit the title sounds a little philosophical... But what to do... I have been pondering over this for say, 1-2 weeks. The basic question "Are we living life the way we want?" And the answer? "Yes... NO... Maybe"
Think upon why are we NOT living life the way we want. Why do we not do what we really want, but end up doing something what people would expect us to do or what people would approve of. Right from the small decisions to the big life altering ones. Why is it that we need to think of the people and place their interests before ours? It is not like no matter what we do, they are going to approve. No matter what one does, there are a set of people who sneers at it.
There was a friend of mine who picked up Electronics & Communication Engineering as her stream, rather than Civil Engg which she wanted to pursue. The reason? People considered ECE,IT to be the 'happening courses'. People would feel she could not get through to ECE, and so had to settle for civil.
Another case... One of my school seniors who had a pretty serious love affair with a guy for a couple of years had to break up and marry someone her family found, just cos her boyfriend was of a lower caste and the society wont approve. She now leads a not-so happy life.
Now is the society unhappy?
No... Society seriously doesn't give a damn what happens to you. Do something against the usual, you will be in the limelight for sometime. But soon everyone will forget about it, until they get a new scapegoat to sneer/raise fingers at. No matter what you do, people will point fingers at you for some reason or the other.
One hindi song comes to my mind now "Kuch toh log kahenge... Logo ka kaam hai kehna... Chodo bekaar ki baato ko... Kahin beet na jaaye raina" How true... High time we live life the way we want it and be happy. Its your life, you make the rules, you make the decision to be happy or not. Do not have any regrets later. After all, you get to live only once!
Think upon it... That's all from me for now... B.R.B !!! :)
